Question:

Thank you for bringing up this taboo subject (cutting) that is not usually found here. I have a Bipolar 1 as of this year; the dx changes with the moods I and the psychiatrist have and how I act out on them. I first cut when I was 14, then hid it immediately as I knew it would just bring another beating from my father. That was also the year I tried to kill myself… he did beat me then. I wish I knew, after all these years of therapy and drugs, why my psyche still vasilates from one mode of expression to another. That’s all I have to say about that:-) Hanging in here until my children are a bit more grown….

Response:

>Thank you for bringing up this taboo subject (cutting) that is not usually >found here. I have a Bipolar 1 as of this year; the dx changes with the >moods I and the psychiatrist have and how I act out on them. >I first cut when I was 14, then hid it immediately as I knew it would just >bring >another beating from my father. That was also the year I tried to kill >myself… >he did beat me then.

I am sorry you had to go through that!. . .I gues the cutting must have helped you feel better. >I wish I knew, after all these years of therapy and drugs, why my psyche >still >vasilates from one mode of expression to another. >That’s all I have to say about that:-) Hanging in here until my children >are a >bit more grown….

I am glad! Keep in touch! My E mail box is always open Visit Brendarella’s World http://www.angelfire.com/tn/hyperbcts/index.html

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I have been lurking here for some time. I am a BP II, having received that >dx about 2 years ago. Previously, I had been dx’ed psychotic depression, >borderline personality disorder, etc. For many years, a feature of my >illness was self-mutilation — cutting or burning myself — but that >stopped ten years ago or more. I’m 38 now, with a husband and 3 kids. It >has started again, very suddenly and very implacably, and I am noticing >that it has elements of OCD. Talked to my pdoc, who agreed (my grandmother >had severe OCD and depression) — and also said it was a very hard thing >to treat because it has features of bipolar, major depression, OCD, >psychosis, and addiction. She said self-mutilators are sometimes >prescribed naltrexone, an "opiate antagonist" used for addictions. Also, >SSRIs because of the OCD aspect. So I’ve added Prozac to my Lamictal and >effexor. >Does anyone else out there struggle with this? What I read always links it >to sexual or other abuse in childhood, which I did not experience, thank >God. I think I probably first "picked it up" in a psych. hospital when I >was 12 and there for suicidal depression — many kids cut themselves, >something I don’t think I’d thought of before. Eventually it takes on a >life of it’s own — like bipolar, I guess. >(kindling theory?) >I panic about this sometimes — what if I can’t stop, what if my kids find >out, what if they throw me in the hospital? I’d really like to hear from >anyone else with this particular wrinkle on the face of their bipolar >disorder.

In the new book Shadow Syndromes co-written by John Ratey, there is a chapter pointing to what he calls attention-surplus disorder. This is the first time I’ve seen mention of a theory that links anxiety disorders with addictive disorders.  I personally, can relate to a feeling of not being able to feel a sense of ‘contentment’.  I often need ‘activity’.  Sometimes this ‘activity’ fits the compulsive stereotype, other times it doesn’t.   Many times, this ‘activity’ can become self-defeating, self-destructive.  But it doesn’t have to be. Learning how to fill my need for ‘activity’ with positive actions is the thing I struggle the most with. Joe

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>I have been lurking here for some time. I am a BP II, having received that >>dx about 2 years ago. Previously, I had been dx’ed psychotic depression, >>borderline personality disorder, etc. For many years, a feature of my >>illness was self-mutilation — cutting or burning myself — but that >>stopped ten years ago or more. >Hi there! I know what you are going through as far as the >self-mutilation. We had a thread on that awhile back.  Have you quit >self-mutilating for good?  If so , that is great! I pick up the habit >from a friend in the hospital in 1991. October of this year will be 3 >years since I have hurt myserlf. It is a tough thing to conquer, but >you can! If you want to E mail me and discuss it further, feel free! >Good luck and keep in touch!  :) >Visit Brendarella’s World >http://www.angelfire.com/tn/hyperbcts/index.html >Hi.  I can relate.  After being a ‘cutter’ for 15 years, I have been >free for a year.  Its been tough but I feel that I am a stronger >person for it.   >Good luch to both of you! >poochie >http://www.calweb.com/~poochie

That is excellent!! COngratulations!!!!!!  :) I do not like green eggs and SPAM. . . Brendarelli