SSRIs

Question:

2:00 am friday. Last dose of any meds monday am at hospital. pdocs screwed up bad, fucked up detox in hospital, didn’t let me know what they were doing, I was pissed & scared. ME/I voluntarily cut depakote since they denied 4 days dose (staggered) in ten days in hosp. THEY cut wellbutrin. They increased seroquel, added ativan 2x daily, hit me up with haldol & unknowns. when I left they didn’t return my supply of meds I had voluntarily surrendered. no taper-down plan. major sleep disturbances. I’m sick. When I hit the sleep barrier I’m afraid of ghosts(?!!?) and awaken. I sleep 2/3 hours per session…5/6 hours daily. I’m hypomanic but tired. Pdoc is perfectly willing to accept my discomfort (not the one in hosp., but original). Even asked my girlfriend for some of her rx tranks, but re-thought…bad idea. Valerian doesn’t work… nor does warm milk. I’m just bitching. It won’t kill me. But I’m afraid they may have fucked me up permanently. This is worse than quitting drinking. Jim

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > 2:00 am friday. Last dose of any meds monday am at hospital. pdocs screwed up > bad, fucked up detox in hospital, didn’t let me know what they were doing, I > was pissed & scared. ME/I voluntarily cut depakote since they denied 4 days > dose (staggered) in ten days in hosp. THEY cut wellbutrin. They increased > seroquel, added ativan 2x daily, hit me up with haldol & unknowns. > when I left they didn’t return my supply of meds I had voluntarily surrendered. > no taper-down plan. > major sleep disturbances. I’m sick. When I hit the sleep barrier I’m afraid of > ghosts(?!!?) and awaken. I sleep 2/3 hours per session…5/6 hours daily. I’m > hypomanic but tired. > Pdoc is perfectly willing to accept my discomfort (not the one in hosp., but > original). Even asked my girlfriend for some of her rx tranks, but > re-thought…bad idea. > Valerian doesn’t work… nor does warm milk. > I’m just bitching. > It won’t kill me. > But I’m afraid they may have fucked me up permanently. > This is worse than quitting drinking. > Jim

Hi Jim: I think the Haldol and some of the other older major tanqs. are just plain nasty…and I think should ONLY be saved for SHORT term..VERY end of the line use. Even then….there are some better newer ones, even seroquel, but can often be found to be helpful in kower doses, without many adverse effects. In fact, though, i stand by the mood stabalizers and adjustment of dose with a small dose of an antidepressant and benzodiazepine. I want to give you a bit of comfort..because I went through a nasty hospitalization being put on Melaril, along with a 100mg dose of Elavil and lithium. Of course, my pdoc was near his retirement, and I don’t think he had heard of any of the psych meds invented after the dawn of civilization. Thats why I always encourage people to "fire" their pdocs if they are ignoring your pain over and over again. I was in an "emotional straightjacket". The strange thing was..I exhibited no "psychotic" behaviour. I left the hospital feeling about 100 times worse then when I got there..and man..that IS bad. So, my Dad was good enough to really help me….he searched around the city for me (I was still too "Whacked"), and got me in with a fairly well know, and compasioante pdoc. While I was coming down off the other stuff (thankfully, the new doc "tappered" me)..I was SURE the stuff had messed my head up SOME way!! Some kind of brain damage!! But..the new pdoc didn’t let me live in misery….he started out with a VERY small dose of a benzo. Now..we are working primarily with three meds….Effexor XR…a regular benzo schedule, and now into mood stabalizers, starting with Depakote. I still have some distance to go….but I HONESTLY never thought I would have the strength I have now (which is not REALLY alot) back then. My mind is sharp again…am still trying to fix a bit of this "depersonaliztion" with a med adjustment..and my anxiety feels like it was this buring fire that was claimed by a nice summer rainshower. My pdoc also mentioned that there was NO need for me to be on the meds I was in the hospital. He figures that since I didn’t have a drug plan, they just threw the cheapest drugs they could find at me. I can’t give you a 100 percent correct answer, as I don’t know about this regarding myself either, but I DON’T think you have to worry about any permanent brain damage. I would think you would get more damage from alcohol use. Please email if you wish to talk more!! Just IMHO..etc.. Best Luck.. James MacLachlan — "I’ve used up all my sick days…so I’m calling in dead!" -Anon "I’d like to know where shareholders get their power from?? I am wondering where the hell the word "shareholder" is in the American Consitution?" "Let us pause for a moment to recover from the sad news this week that Dan Quayle will not be running for President next year. Potatoe lovers all over America are feeling a sense of loss and I can only say that with Quayle out of the running, all we have to look forward to now is the day when we get to hear more than a sound bite from George W. Bush and realize he’s even dumber than Quayle. There is a reason you have not heard Bush Jr. speak on television for any length of time. The media knows he’s as dense as oatmeal and because they have been so busy touting him as "the front runner" to actually put him on to speak for ten minutes would reveal how not on top of things they really are." Micheal Moore, "The AWFUL Truth"

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i hope that you get better=bruce

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James… The Effexor SR just depressed me more, Depakote held me in its channel, but tended to depress and I liked seroquel too much for it to be good for me….liked that it  knocked me out, looked forward to doses. Fired 6 pdocs in past 5 years. They have accused me of being unable to bond with ‘em. Jim "Mama mama here comes Doctor Dark…his hoom slim-a-slammin his hooves kickin sparks…" Don Van Vliet (aka Captain Beefheart) "Doctor Dark" from "Lick Off My Decals Baby"

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Sounds like you are having a rough time, but at least you are not being incarcerated against your will.  I am betting you would rather be miserable at home than in the dungeon.  Hang-in there.  Hopefully you will find something to make your situation tolerable.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->This is worse than quitting drinking. >Jim

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Pdoc can’t replaces these meds?  Sounds like you need something to take the edge off, Jim.  Also sounds like you’re aware and watching yourself as you go through the motions of it.  Don’t lose touch.   Linda Briteyes – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > 2:00 am friday. Last dose of any meds monday am at hospital. pdocs screwed up > bad, fucked up detox in hospital, didn’t let me know what they were doing, I > was pissed & scared. ME/I voluntarily cut depakote since they denied 4 days > dose (staggered) in ten days in hosp. THEY cut wellbutrin. They increased > seroquel, added ativan 2x daily, hit me up with haldol & unknowns. > when I left they didn’t return my supply of meds I had voluntarily surrendered. > no taper-down plan. > major sleep disturbances. I’m sick. When I hit the sleep barrier I’m afraid of > ghosts(?!!?) and awaken. I sleep 2/3 hours per session…5/6 hours daily. I’m > hypomanic but tired. > Pdoc is perfectly willing to accept my discomfort (not the one in hosp., but > original). Even asked my girlfriend for some of her rx tranks, but > re-thought…bad idea. > Valerian doesn’t work… nor does warm milk. > I’m just bitching. > It won’t kill me. > But I’m afraid they may have fucked me up permanently. > This is worse than quitting drinking. > Jim

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > James… > The Effexor SR just depressed me more, Depakote held me in its channel, but > tended to depress and I liked seroquel too much for it to be good for > me….liked that it  knocked me out, looked forward to doses. > Fired 6 pdocs in past 5 years. They have accused me of being unable to bond > with ‘em. > Jim > "Mama mama here comes Doctor Dark…his hoom slim-a-slammin his hooves kickin > sparks…" > Don Van Vliet (aka Captain Beefheart) > "Doctor Dark" from "Lick Off My Decals Baby"

This is pretty much my situation (minus the Seroquel..YET..maybe?!?!) The Effexor XR seemed to work for a week or two..but I think that was just because it was simply "changing" some of the N.T. levels…and when it set in..no emotion…LOTS of sadness…and LOTS of "numbness". Depakote is pretty much the same..it kep’t me mildly level, but also a lingering depression followed. BOTH of these KILLED my sex drive…and I DO MEAN KILL!! I am looking at a possible change to a VERY mild dose of one of the newer anti-psychotics. I have to be careful, though..as I will be starting a new job, and don’t want this stuff messing me up. I have been off Effexor XR for about two days now, and actually feel like I am coming back to life. Wish I had answers my friend… James — "I’ve used up all my sick days…so I’m calling in dead!" -Anon "I’d like to know where shareholders get their power from?? I am wondering where the hell the word "shareholder" is in the American Consitution?" "Let us pause for a moment to recover from the sad news this week that Dan Quayle will not be running for President next year. Potatoe lovers all over America are feeling a sense of loss and I can only say that with Quayle out of the running, all we have to look forward to now is the day when we get to hear more than a sound bite from George W. Bush and realize he’s even dumber than Quayle. There is a reason you have not heard Bush Jr. speak on television for any length of time. The media knows he’s as dense as oatmeal and because they have been so busy touting him as "the front runner" to actually put him on to speak for ten minutes would reveal how not on top of things they really are." Micheal Moore, "The AWFUL Truth"

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It occurred to me the other night that advanced "augmentation" of psymeds can cause chaotic (scientific defintion) results, i.e… SSRIs plus serum norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors plus mood stabilizer plus antipsychotic equals "Who Goes There? (oops, Carpenter "Thing" reference again) shape-shifting mutant emotion storm. I finally got a moderate amount of sleep using antihistamines and Melatonin…maybe just placebo affex but perception is everything. My surmise is that the Depakote straight 6mg per kg body weight formula used on me was far too much. Good luck with the new job. Jim "Must the breathing pay for those who breathe in and don’t breathe out? There’d be no game brother, if no one’d play…" Don Van Vliet (aka Captain Beefheart) "Petrified Forest" from "Lick Off My Decals Baby"

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