SSRIs

Question:

I felt as down as I can ever remember feeling. I happened to stare at myself in my living room mirror before I left for work.  What a bad idea that was.  My living room mirror is one of the places I NEVER look.  I don’t know what it is, it might be the lighting or something, but my face always looks ten times worse in that mirror than anywhere else.  I felt awful as I walked down the road.  I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as soft as that may sound. As you can imagine, with a start to the day like that things didn’t exactly go great at work.  Two girls I really like happened to join me and my friend at dinner time, but I was so depressed I just kept my head down and barely spoke the entire time.  They must have thought I was one ignorant bastard. Anyway when I got home I had a shower and sat outside for a while, before coming inside to type this post.  I feel a lot better now, and I might even go out tommorow.  Hopefully tommorow will go a lot better. Thanks for listening (reading, whatever).  I just needed a type-out. You know how it is. Lewis

Response:

There are some places in my house with mirrors that I avoid too.  I know exactly how you feel. I’m afraid I have no great advice or words of wisdom.  Just letting you know you are not alone. Anna – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I felt as down as I can ever remember feeling. > I happened to stare at myself in my living room mirror before I left > for work.  What a bad idea that was.  My living room mirror is one of > the places I NEVER look.  I don’t know what it is, it might be the > lighting or something, but my face always looks ten times worse in > that mirror than anywhere else.  I felt awful as I walked down the > road.  I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as > soft as that may sound. > As you can imagine, with a start to the day like that things didn’t > exactly go great at work.  Two girls I really like happened to join me > and my friend at dinner time, but I was so depressed I just kept my > head down and barely spoke the entire time.  They must have thought I > was one ignorant bastard. > Anyway when I got home I had a shower and sat outside for a while, > before coming inside to type this post.  I feel a lot better now, and > I might even go out tommorow.  Hopefully tommorow will go a lot > better. > Thanks for listening (reading, whatever).  I just needed a type-out. > You know how it is. > Lewis

Response:

Anything with bluish light is a nightmare……they have them at public toilets to prevent heroin addicts from injecting, but they also make your skin look a million times worse…..no one benefits hehe…..nah nah, i’m just bitter about the lights. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I felt as down as I can ever remember feeling. > I happened to stare at myself in my living room mirror before I left > for work.  What a bad idea that was.  My living room mirror is one of > the places I NEVER look.  I don’t know what it is, it might be the > lighting or something, but my face always looks ten times worse in > that mirror than anywhere else.  I felt awful as I walked down the > road.  I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as > soft as that may sound. > As you can imagine, with a start to the day like that things didn’t > exactly go great at work.  Two girls I really like happened to join me > and my friend at dinner time, but I was so depressed I just kept my > head down and barely spoke the entire time.  They must have thought I > was one ignorant bastard. > Anyway when I got home I had a shower and sat outside for a while, > before coming inside to type this post.  I feel a lot better now, and > I might even go out tommorow.  Hopefully tommorow will go a lot > better. > Thanks for listening (reading, whatever).  I just needed a type-out. > You know how it is. > Lewis

Response:

You got to know one thing, everyone (I felt like that the day I found this group. Reading and responding to posts here gave me hope) feels like you at some time or another. Just ride it out. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I felt as down as I can ever remember feeling. >I happened to stare at myself in my living room mirror before I left >for work.  What a bad idea that was.  My living room mirror is one of >the places I NEVER look.  I don’t know what it is, it might be the >lighting or something, but my face always looks ten times worse in >that mirror than anywhere else.  I felt awful as I walked down the >road.  I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as >soft as that may sound. >As you can imagine, with a start to the day like that things didn’t >exactly go great at work.  Two girls I really like happened to join me >and my friend at dinner time, but I was so depressed I just kept my >head down and barely spoke the entire time.  They must have thought I >was one ignorant bastard. >Anyway when I got home I had a shower and sat outside for a while, >before coming inside to type this post.  I feel a lot better now, and >I might even go out tommorow.  Hopefully tommorow will go a lot >better. >Thanks for listening (reading, whatever).  I just needed a type-out. >You know how it is. >Lewis

Response:

>I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as >soft as that may sound.

Have you ever tried anything to prevent spots from happening? Tell me what you’ve tried and maybe the group can advice you on stuff you should do from now on. In the mean time, just hang in there.

Response:

>>I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as >>soft as that may sound. >Have you ever tried anything to prevent spots from happening? >Tell me what you’ve tried and maybe the group can advice you on stuff you >should do from now on. >In the mean time, just hang in there.

Yeah I’m getting on top of it now.  I’m using B5, zinc and MSM supplements and using a much milder facial wash (Simple Soap, you may have heard of it).  The last month has been great for me and it’s mostly thanks to the information from this newsgroup.  I really can’t thank everyone here enough! It’s quite embarrasing to read this old post.  I can’t remember feeling that down about myself for ages. Lewis

Response:

I felt as down as I can ever remember feeling. I happened to stare at myself in my living room mirror before I left for work.  What a bad idea that was.  My living room mirror is one of the places I NEVER look.  I don’t know what it is, it might be the lighting or something, but my face always looks ten times worse in that mirror than anywhere else.  I felt awful as I walked down the road.  I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as soft as that may sound. As you can imagine, with a start to the day like that things didn’t exactly go great at work.  Two girls I really like happened to join me and my friend at dinner time, but I was so depressed I just kept my head down and barely spoke the entire time.  They must have thought I was one ignorant bastard. Anyway when I got home I had a shower and sat outside for a while, before coming inside to type this post.  I feel a lot better now, and I might even go out tommorow.  Hopefully tommorow will go a lot better. Thanks for listening (reading, whatever).  I just needed a type-out. You know how it is. Lewis

Response:

There are some places in my house with mirrors that I avoid too.  I know exactly how you feel. I’m afraid I have no great advice or words of wisdom.  Just letting you know you are not alone. Anna – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I felt as down as I can ever remember feeling. > I happened to stare at myself in my living room mirror before I left > for work.  What a bad idea that was.  My living room mirror is one of > the places I NEVER look.  I don’t know what it is, it might be the > lighting or something, but my face always looks ten times worse in > that mirror than anywhere else.  I felt awful as I walked down the > road.  I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as > soft as that may sound. > As you can imagine, with a start to the day like that things didn’t > exactly go great at work.  Two girls I really like happened to join me > and my friend at dinner time, but I was so depressed I just kept my > head down and barely spoke the entire time.  They must have thought I > was one ignorant bastard. > Anyway when I got home I had a shower and sat outside for a while, > before coming inside to type this post.  I feel a lot better now, and > I might even go out tommorow.  Hopefully tommorow will go a lot > better. > Thanks for listening (reading, whatever).  I just needed a type-out. > You know how it is. > Lewis

Response:

Anything with bluish light is a nightmare……they have them at public toilets to prevent heroin addicts from injecting, but they also make your skin look a million times worse…..no one benefits hehe…..nah nah, i’m just bitter about the lights. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I felt as down as I can ever remember feeling. > I happened to stare at myself in my living room mirror before I left > for work.  What a bad idea that was.  My living room mirror is one of > the places I NEVER look.  I don’t know what it is, it might be the > lighting or something, but my face always looks ten times worse in > that mirror than anywhere else.  I felt awful as I walked down the > road.  I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as > soft as that may sound. > As you can imagine, with a start to the day like that things didn’t > exactly go great at work.  Two girls I really like happened to join me > and my friend at dinner time, but I was so depressed I just kept my > head down and barely spoke the entire time.  They must have thought I > was one ignorant bastard. > Anyway when I got home I had a shower and sat outside for a while, > before coming inside to type this post.  I feel a lot better now, and > I might even go out tommorow.  Hopefully tommorow will go a lot > better. > Thanks for listening (reading, whatever).  I just needed a type-out. > You know how it is. > Lewis

Response:

You got to know one thing, everyone (I felt like that the day I found this group. Reading and responding to posts here gave me hope) feels like you at some time or another. Just ride it out. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I felt as down as I can ever remember feeling. >I happened to stare at myself in my living room mirror before I left >for work.  What a bad idea that was.  My living room mirror is one of >the places I NEVER look.  I don’t know what it is, it might be the >lighting or something, but my face always looks ten times worse in >that mirror than anywhere else.  I felt awful as I walked down the >road.  I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as >soft as that may sound. >As you can imagine, with a start to the day like that things didn’t >exactly go great at work.  Two girls I really like happened to join me >and my friend at dinner time, but I was so depressed I just kept my >head down and barely spoke the entire time.  They must have thought I >was one ignorant bastard. >Anyway when I got home I had a shower and sat outside for a while, >before coming inside to type this post.  I feel a lot better now, and >I might even go out tommorow.  Hopefully tommorow will go a lot >better. >Thanks for listening (reading, whatever).  I just needed a type-out. >You know how it is. >Lewis

Response:

>I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as >soft as that may sound.

Have you ever tried anything to prevent spots from happening? Tell me what you’ve tried and maybe the group can advice you on stuff you should do from now on. In the mean time, just hang in there.

Response:

>>I almost started crying – not a very common thing for me – as >>soft as that may sound. >Have you ever tried anything to prevent spots from happening? >Tell me what you’ve tried and maybe the group can advice you on stuff you >should do from now on. >In the mean time, just hang in there.

Yeah I’m getting on top of it now.  I’m using B5, zinc and MSM supplements and using a much milder facial wash (Simple Soap, you may have heard of it).  The last month has been great for me and it’s mostly thanks to the information from this newsgroup.  I really can’t thank everyone here enough! It’s quite embarrasing to read this old post.  I can’t remember feeling that down about myself for ages. Lewis

Response:

… I sent in a job application … Against pdocs advice and really against my own will too, it feels way too early and I feel like I’m suddenly moving my focus away from the problematic issues I *should* be dealing with. It’s a way of escaping dealing with what I *have* to deal with, and at the same time it’s what I feel most of my surroundings expect of me and think I *should* do…  so here I am giving them what they want.. Being a good girl. Feel scared but at the same time indifferent – does that make any sense at all? It’s like my indifference is really just a way of trying to hold back the fear I think… At least I have promised myself that no decision whatsoever is taken yet. Okay so I have sent the application, but if…. if…. if, hypothetically speacing, they should call me in for a job interview or say "Hooray come work for us!" (now *that* made the whole image a little less scary… ;P ) IF… I can still retreat. I can say sorry, I’ve found something else or whatever. I don’t have to make a decision until I know if I have to. *sigh* This coming from the person who has done f*ck all the last 18 months, who barely can force herself to the mailbox, who…. whatever.,.. You know the story. We all do. We’ll see. What happens. I’ll keep you posted ofcourse TK

Response:

Be carefull, being a good girl is not doing what your surrounding expects you to do, but it’s being good for yourself!! ((((((((((((TK))))))))))) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> … I sent in a job application … > Against pdocs advice and really against my own will too, it feels way too > early and I feel like I’m suddenly moving my focus away from the problematic > issues I *should* be dealing with. It’s a way of escaping dealing with what > I *have* to deal with, and at the same time it’s what I feel most of my > surroundings expect of me and think I *should* do…  so here I am giving > them what they want.. Being a good girl. > Feel scared but at the same time indifferent – does that make any sense at > all? It’s like my indifference is really just a way of trying to hold back > the fear I think… > At least I have promised myself that no decision whatsoever is taken yet. > Okay so I have sent the application, but if…. if…. if, hypothetically > speacing, they should call me in for a job interview or say "Hooray come > work for us!" (now *that* made the whole image a little less scary… ;P ) > IF… I can still retreat. I can say sorry, I’ve found something else or > whatever. I don’t have to make a decision until I know if I have to. > *sigh* > This coming from the person who has done f*ck all the last 18 months, who > barely can force herself to the mailbox, who…. whatever.,.. You know the > story. We all do. > We’ll see. What happens. > I’ll keep you posted ofcourse > TK

Response:

hey hon, i dont think thats so crazy. i went for a job as creative director of a new media firm in february, right in the middle of my BP becoming quite wild, i got totally manic in the interview and stayed up till 5am every night preparing my cdrom… not that things will be like that for you of course! but i have no regrets that i did it. i didnt get the job although they did seem impressed with my ‘enthusiasm’ !!! and in the crash the following week i   realised that perhaps it was a good thing i didnt get the job, i wasnt ready. but i have absolutely *no* regrets about trying, it was good to get out into the competetive world again, just for a taste.. and it helped me to decide what i really wanted to do, which is to write this book… i knew then that i couldnt work full time, and that that job would have been a millstone around my neck, it would have been not just full time but every hour God sends… i still think about applying for jobs now and then. its true that i was happiest when i had my web job – nice steady income, not relying on benefits i.e. sod all – and the company and regular place to have to be every day gave me no excuse.. i had to go in, regarless of how bad i felt, somehow that did me good. my GP agrees, she says routine is very important, well i really struggle with that now, and have to allow myself to, because im still really ill… but i get the point, it does stop me from falling in a heap… it gave me a reason to *be*… i guess thats why i wanted to apply for a job again…. hon, whatever happens, there’s *always* an escape clause – you dont have to do anything you dont want to. and it might just be a good experience to apply… maybe something will come of it, maybe not… you can decide what you want when you hear from them…. nothing in life is *ever* set in concrete… there is always a way out or around things…. i wish you luck! and i wish that the right thing will happen for *you*… whatever that may be. you might even want to look for something part time, not too strenuous, as a step towards getting outside, feeling a bit less fed up, seeing some people… i find that a comfort at the moment, although my web work is mostly voluntary, its fun to have thursday afternoons in the office, without being tied down to being there every day! and i take my laptop out and write in cafes, i often end up talking to people when i do that, it helps me feel less cr*p… whatever turns out, we, *and* your pdoc, will be there for you…. nobodys going to abandon you or punish you just cos you’ve tried something… you have the *right* to choose what you want, you have the right to try, if you feel like it… *and* to make mistakes, if it is a mistake.. and im sure your pdoc would agree with me (mine does … here for you hon…. m – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > … I sent in a job application … > Against pdocs advice and really against my own will too, it feels way too > early and I feel like I’m suddenly moving my focus away from the problematic > issues I *should* be dealing with. It’s a way of escaping dealing with what > I *have* to deal with, and at the same time it’s what I feel most of my > surroundings expect of me and think I *should* do…  so here I am giving > them what they want.. Being a good girl. > Feel scared but at the same time indifferent – does that make any sense at > all? It’s like my indifference is really just a way of trying to hold back > the fear I think… > At least I have promised myself that no decision whatsoever is taken yet. > Okay so I have sent the application, but if…. if…. if, hypothetically > speacing, they should call me in for a job interview or say "Hooray come > work for us!" (now *that* made the whole image a little less scary… ;P ) > IF… I can still retreat. I can say sorry, I’ve found something else or > whatever. I don’t have to make a decision until I know if I have to. > *sigh* > This coming from the person who has done f*ck all the last 18 months, who > barely can force herself to the mailbox, who…. whatever.,.. You know the > story. We all do. > We’ll see. What happens. > I’ll keep you posted ofcourse > TK

Response:

at least your docs had the brains to up it slowly.. mine starts people on 75 mg even if they are taking Depakote